Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
