the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
