And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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