he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
splinters make it hard to masturbate
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
