i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Randomize
