You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When are your genitals available?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
