Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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