Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
