Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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