3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
