I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
