What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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