And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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