So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
