I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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