I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
