He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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