she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
