That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
