I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
