i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
