Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I want her autograph on my taint
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
