whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
