I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
