Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
