My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
