Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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