why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
