she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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