thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
