2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
