didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
