You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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