Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
