This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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