bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
