So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
