So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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