He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
