Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
