I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
