Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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