you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize