Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
