I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
