I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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