I can tuck mytits in my pants
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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