Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
