Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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