Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
