honey bunches of taint.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
