My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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