Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Randomize
