There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
