He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
