You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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