The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
