I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
ok first of all what the fuck
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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