great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
