Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
