Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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