I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
