1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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