Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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